I had to laugh when my husband entered a Google search to learn Hoboken's schedule for Christmas tree trash pick up, and my blog was one of the first links to come up. I wonder whether Google has a profiling program, knowing that I would be one of the first to put in its final resting place the hacked down and lifeless tree that has been wilting in front of me for the past few weeks. For you Hobokenites, I promise to post a blog note as soon as I find out the schedule, or if you know, please leave a comment.
.
As far as my perspective on the tree goes, my cynicism that I previously expressed has only intensified. Honestly, the dying tree in my house has depressed me. My mind is taken down a backward pathway, and in terms of the tree, after seeing its sawed off trunk, I saw its completely withered state, and could never really see or celebrate its life.
.
This perspective of a reverse chronology, or a backward pathway, is something I stumbled upon around my 30th birthday. Silly though it seems, one of the primary triggers that has recently arisen is remembering the "disappearance" of my childhood dog when I was 20. I can't even type about it without pausing until I can once again see through my tears. The intensely painful memory of his death seems to negate the beauty and joy in his life. Like this incidence, there are a few others that have begun to play in my mind like a skipping record, reminding me of the fragility of our lives and the fragility of the life of everything around us. I appreciate life more, as a result. I treasure life more. But, in reverse, I mourn death more, and my grief is physical.
.
So, I think the Christmas tree triggered a different perspective for me this Christmas. The Christmas Tree is a symbol of the season, and the season is a time for us to remember and celebrate a Birth. However, it's really the reverse chronology, or backward pathway, of This Baby's life and the purpose of His life that makes the Story so poignant and so painful..
.
.
No comments:
Post a Comment