A Little-Understood Group

In March 2003, Johnathan Rouch published a fascinating article in The Atlantic entitled "Caring for Your Introvert." Rouch's sub-headline read "The habits and needs of a little-understood group." While the article reads much like an instruction manual for caring for a new plant, it drives home the issues I, as an introvert, face.

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Most extroverts are shocked and often become argumentative when the topic of personality comes up, and I say that I am an introvert. I always have to define introversion for them because of the introvert = shy stereotype.

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I think the stereotype that being an introvert means being shy is bogus. Because I have moved so many times during the past 10 years, I have had to face meeting new people, making new friends, and adjusting to new work environments and relationships possibly more than most. In these types of situations, I learned that I can’t be shy. I taught myself how to “turn on” in social situations, which is extremely hard work and can lead to burn out. When I burn out, unfortunately the friendships that have caused me to work so hard fizzle out. However, when I find friends who I eventually don’t have to “work” to be around, those friendships last, few as they may be.

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I have been quoted in saying, "I don't like people." It's true. What I mean isn't that I am anti-social or think that others are losers. Rather, I simply do not find enjoyment in being in a group of people. Actually, this is the most lonely environment that I am ever in. On the contrary, I feel the least "alone" when I am by myself, and the way I value and enjoy the company of "people" is one person at a time.

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