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I got off the elevator with Emily Giffin's first line in Baby Proof ringing in my head like a gong. "I never wanted to be a mother." I have been thinking this at an ever-increasing rate as more and more of my friends and family are nesting and dedicating all of their effort and investing in every resource available to make a baby.
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My thoughts here in no way mean that I don't like babies or that I don't ever want to have them. I was just never the girl pushing the stroller or swaddling a baby doll. Trust me, other people's babies are very cute, and my nephew is among the most irresistible of all of them (as I'm sure my niece who is due in December will be also).
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What I am saying is this:
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First, having a child is an enormous, life-altering event; an event that will span the rest of the parents' lives and turn their sense of identity on its head. Also, I don't believe being married means that I must have a child. I'm saying that my own decision about having or not having a baby will be based on intense self-examination as I try to understand and answer this one question - is having a baby something I think I should do, or is it something I want to do?
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I do have a sense of humor about motherhood, don't get me wrong. Here are a couple of pictures as proof.
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3 comments:
Hey sweet lady. I definitely think that IF you and your hubby decide to have a baby (or babies for that matter), you will be a great mother. Just look at what a great job you do with your kitty babies. If you guys decide that having children is not for you, I think that is also a good decision.
I'm one of the types that has always known that I wanted children. Not right away or anything, but it was never a question for me. Whether I have them myself or have to adopt, I adore kids, and would love to raise them one day. It was the thing like just knowing I would attend college. I know that everyone is not like that -- I was just (and still am) the type of kid who would hang out with the little ones and play games and make faces.
I think that whenever people have kids, yes, their lives will change. But often times you hear that the changes are ones they would not want to abandon. Although they may get less sleep and feel crazy at times, they learn to reprioritize, and enjoy some of the chaos. Or not. I see parents these days that take their kids along with whatever they are doing (within reason). I mean, why do we have to be the parents of the 90s and let the kids rule our lives. Why not be like our parents. We listened to THEM and most likely followed their rules. They were also our friends, but they did not let us walk all over them like some parents I see today.
Enough ranting. Bottom line is that my parents are awesome, but sometimes they wouldn't let me do things that I wanted to do. And I'm THANKFUL for that. So, I'm sure my kids will hate me at times, and they'll get over it later on ;)
Good luck on making your decision whatever it may be. You'll know in your heart and gut what is right for you (and Chris). Big hugs..
Your feedback is helpful. And because you've always wanted children, it's good for me to "hear" your light-hearted comments and your calm perspective on babies. You've been thinking about having babies longer than I have. Maybe I just started thinking about the possibility, and that's what is overwhelming me.
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